


Take Your Sin Elsewhere Please

by hastalastagimmeeyourpasta (haetalie101)



Series: Dysfunctional Families [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Frances gets drunk, M/M, Philip makes typos and his friends make fun of him, This is trash, Typos, Underage Drinking, angie is a savage, especially phillip, everyone disowns their family members, her roommate is a saint tbh, i am trash, it'll be bigger later, or their family memebers, poor phillipé, she likes making her brothers mad, sorry - Freeform, the title is very ironic for the story, though it only comes in at the end of this part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8084581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haetalie101/pseuds/hastalastagimmeeyourpasta
Summary: georgeswashingturnt: my own family
georgeswashinturnt: has stabbed me in the back
togetherinparis: i’m sorry that we don’t like harambe as much as you do





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hamiltons:   
> Alex- 42- fuckinfiteme  
> Eliza- 41- purecinnamonroll  
> Phillip- 20- francesno  
> Angie- 19- pianoprodigy  
> Alex Jr- 18- fuckboi 4000  
> John- 15- not#weakone  
> James- 13- #weakone  
> Will- 9  
> Eliza Jr- 5  
> Baby Phil- nine months
> 
> Laurens:  
> John- 42- i like turtles more than i like u  
> Frances- 19- francesyes  
> Martha- 37- betterthanu  
> Henry Jr.- 33- juniorgman  
> James- 31- jemmyjames  
> Mary- 26- smolone
> 
> Lafayette:  
> Laf- 42- fightingfrenchman  
> Adrienne-39- ouiouibaguette  
> Anastasie Louise Pauline- 23- togetherinparis  
> Georges Washington Louise Gilbert-21- georgeswashingturnt  
> Marie Antoinette Virginie-18- pepperpotts

togetherinparis: prof adams makes me want to throw up in my mouth sometimes

 

pepperpotts: what he do now???

 

togetherinparis: he’s just fangirling over jefferson again

 

francesno: lmao don’t tell my dad that

 

francesno: he hats jefferson

 

francesno: SHIT

 

francesyes: hATS

 

georgeswashingturnt: i hat my sisters

 

pepperpotts: i bet jefferson hats your dad too

 

pianoprodigy: dad definitely hats jefferson 

 

francesno: i hat every single one of you

 

francesno: anyways, adams is an ass anyways

 

francesno: and i guess jefferson isn’t that bad

 

togetherinparis: he’s definitely not fangirl material though

 

francesno: true

 

togetherinparis: FCKU

 

pepperpotts: ???

 

togetherinparis: HE JUST TRIPPED OVER A DESK AND LANDED ON PATSY JEFFERSON

 

togetherinparis: HES LITERALLY HORRIFIED

 

togetherinparis: SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED

 

francesyes: is she okay???

 

togetherinparis: physically? yes 

 

togetherinparis: mentally? hell no

 

georgeswashingturnt: rip Patsy

 

georgeswashingturnt: gone but never forgotten

 

\-----------------

fuckboi 4000: hey does anybody have any money i can borrow

 

pianoprodigy: i have an idea on where you can get money

 

pianoprodigy: GET A JOB

 

fuckboi 4000: ur funny angie

 

purecinnamonroll: your sister’s right, Xander

 

purecinnamonroll: you can’t keep borrowing money from me and your father

 

purecinnamonroll: even though it is very easy to get money from your father…

 

fuckboi 4000: true

 

fuckboi 4000: but mom???

 

not#weakone: what job is he gonna get

 

not#weakone: he has no good skills for a job

 

not#weakone: he’s useless

 

fuckboi 4000: he’s right!!

 

fuckboi 4000: hEY

 

francesno: you walked right into that one tbh

 

fuckboi 4000:... yeah i did

 

\---------------------

 

jemmyjames: JOHN HAS A TURTLE FETISH PASS IT ON

 

i like turtles more than i like u: DO NOT

 

jemmyjames: ur name literally sounds like you have a turtle fetish

 

juniorgman: #johnlaurensfucksturtles

 

betterthanu: #johnlaurensfucksturtles

 

jemmyjames: #johnlaurensfucksturtles

 

smolone: #johnlaurensfucksturtles

 

i like turtles more than i like u: you’re all traitors

 

i like turtles more than i like u: at least my loving daughter will never betray me

 

francesyes: #johnlaurensfucksturtles

 

i like turtles more than i like u: my own flesh and blood

 

i like turtles more than i like u: has betrayed me 

 

francesyes: #yolo

 

i like turtles more than i like u: nevermind

 

i like turtles more than i like you: you’re not my flesh and blood anymore

 

francesyes: hEY

 

\-------------------------

 

georgeswashingturnt: and every week we buy a hamster

 

francesno: NOPENOPENOPE

 

togetherinparis: please don’t

 

pepperpotts: take your sin elsewhere please

 

francesyes: STOP STOP STOP

 

georgeswashingturnt: you guys suck

 

\---------------------------------------

pepperpotts: georges is a sinner

 

fightingfrenchman: ???

 

togetherinparis: he sent part of the hat fic

 

ouiouibaguette: do i even want to know what the hat fic is

 

pepperpotts: non

 

togetherinparis: definitely not

 

fightingfrenchman: whatever it is, please stop sinning, Georges

 

fightingfrenchman: your maman and I want to actually be proud of you for once

 

georgeswashingturnt: when?? have you ever not been proud of me??

 

pepperpotts: you literally taped memes up all over the house the day before we left for college

 

georgeswashingturnt: those memes were my pride and joy

 

georgeswashingturnt: how dare you insult them

 

fightingfrenchman: georges, i love you, you are my son, but those memes were absolute s h i t

 

fightingfrenchman: do you know how horrifying it was to go into the bathroom at 3 am and see harambe staring back at me

 

georgeswashingturnt: hOW DARE

 

georgeswashingturnt: Harambe is a fresh meme

 

georgeswashingturnt: pure and innocent

 

georgeswashingturnt: he is the best there is

 

georgeswashingturnt: insulting him is like insulting me, your own son

 

fightingfrenchman: well 

 

fightingfrenchman: guess i’m insulting you then

 

georgeswashingturnt: *loud gasp*

 

pepperpotts: *loud gay gasp

 

georgeswashingturnt: damn you right

 

\-----------------------------------------

georgeswashingturnt: my own family

 

georgeswashinturnt: has stabbed me in the back

 

togetherinparis: i’m sorry that we don’t like harambe as much as you do

 

georgeswashingturnt: you have insulted my purest meme

 

georgeswashingturnt: you have been disowned as my family

 

francesyes: what are you gonna do when you need money then???

 

georgeswashingturnt: correction

 

georgeswashingturnt: you have been disowned as my family until i need money

 

francesyes: that’s what i thought

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

turtlefucker: alright

 

turtlefucker: which one of you assholes did this

 

betterthanu: l m a o

 

turtlefucker: it was you, martha

 

turtlefucker: wasn’t it

 

betterthanu: yep

 

juniorgman: why the fuck would you tell him that???

 

betterthanu: because it’s not like he’ll actually get me back

 

turtlefucker: she’s right

 

turtlefucker: she’s too scary

 

turtlefucker: and has too much leverage over me

 

betterthanu: true

 

turtlefucker: and i would probably die if i did anything to her

 

betterthanu: also true

 

\-----------------------------------------

purecinnamonroll: @fuckinfiteme what did you do to our son

 

fuckinfiteme: which one

 

francesno: tfw you have to ask which son is terrified of you this time because you’ve traumatised them all

 

fuckinfiteme: YOU HAVE FIVE BROTHERS PHILLIP

 

fuckinfiteme: EXCUSE ME FOR NOT KNOW WHICH ONE I SCARED THIS WEEK

 

francesno: lmao

 

francesno: “this week”

 

fuckinfiteme: you shut your mouth phillipé

 

francesno: how do you

 

francesno: ANGIE

 

pianoprodigy: l m a o

 

pianoprodigy: you rang phillipé

 

francesno: i

 

francesno: am going to scream

 

purecinnamonroll: you do that phillipé

 

francesno: MoThEr

\----------------------------

francesno: tfw your entire family betrays you

 

geogeswashingturnt: #relatable

 

pianoprodigy: awww, phillipé

 

pianoprodigy: you’re breaking my heart

 

francesno: FIGHT ME ANGIE

 

pianoprodigy: LETS FUCKING GO

 

francesyes: all i see when i imagine you two fighting each other is the ‘fight’ scene from Napoleon Dynamite

 

togetherinparis: same tbh

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

**Private Chat between francesno and francesyes at 1:34 am**

 

francesyes: ana id jyst

 

francesyes: so pretrty

 

francesno: Frances are you drunk???

 

francesyes: mabe a litkwle

 

francesno: how much is a little

 

francesyes: ljie

 

francesyes: onre oe tqo

 

francesno: one or two?

 

francesyes: i jist live ama ao much

 

francesyes: shes do prwetty

 

francesno: i know you do, fran

 

francesno: i’m pretty sure everybody knows

 

francesyes: tjey do?

 

francesno: yep

 

francesyes: dies she?

 

francesno: i don’t know

 

francesno: do you want her to know?

 

francesyes: dquwijuhjeo

 

francesno: ???

 

francesyes: jiqhuhuenjooewj

 

francesno: Frances???

 

francesyes: Hi, this is Frances’ roommate. She passed out on the keyboard.

 

francesno: is she okay??

 

francesyes: I think so. I put her in her bed. She should be fine.

 

francesno: tell her I’ll be by in the morning to check up on her.

 

francesyes: I will. Good night.

  
francesno: good night and thanks for helping her.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, that is the end of this installment! The next one should be up on Wednesday.
> 
> If you would like to talk to me about this series or any other story I've written or anything really, my tumblr is kaifightsthesky.tumblr.com.


End file.
